6 months and sleeping poorly

[cbeck777]

I have a unique situation and am wondering if this book will help me. I live in the US and it's hard to get ahold of here, and very expensive, so I have some questions before I buy.

I have a baby who suffered some pretty significant brain damage at birth due to an infection and lack of oxygen. That being said, she's doing remarkably well, certainly better than anyone thought. She does have significant delays (which is why I'm posting this on both the 0-6 and 6-12 month boards), and she is very sensitive. Her vision is impaired, which makes for her other senses to be heightened. She sleeps with white noise at night, which seems to help, but for naps I can't put her down or she'll wake up. I don't know if it's noise or the feeling of no longer being held, or what, but I have resigned myself to sitting on the couch for many hours a day, which is exhausting. She will sleep 5-7 hours at night, but then wake up for 2-4 hours before she goes back to sleep! She doesn't usually cry during this time, she's just awake! This is really hard on me to be up and awake for that time. We also co-sleep, so she's next to me most of the night and I'm afraid I've created a bad habit of not being able to sleep without me.

I know this book says some crying is okay, even necessary, when learning to sleep (as with learning any new skill), but I am afraid. Often once the crying starts, it takes a LONG time for us to get her calmed down. We have to be very attentive when playing on the floor, learning new things, because if she's frustrated and the crying goes on too long, it can take hours before we get it stopped! I am afraid of this happening with sleep training.

There are also a lot of things she still can't do at 6 months, she's not really aware of her hands (this could be related to her vision) so she doesn't really grab or play with things like you'd expect a 6 month old to do. She's just learning to roll, but hasn't quite gotten it yet. And she's not quite ready for solid food yet (it took her 3 weeks to develop a suck and learn how to nurse). She also has NEVER taken a pacifier, so her habit of sucking to sleep begins and ends with me.

I have found with other sleep-training books that we can take some of the suggestions, but most of them we have to leave either because she's too sensitive or because she's too delayed. Our situation is unique, and I find that most books don't meet our needs, which leads me to wondering if this one will benefit us or if it's more of the same...mostly suggestions we can't use. So, I send out a plea to those of you who have read/are reading and are finding success with this book. What do you think? Should I take the plunge, spend the money, and give it a go? Or just keep working on what we're doing and hope she grows out of it someday?

[andrewsmum2010]

I've got a 8 week old and bought the book the other day. It seems good but the routines she suggests are for 6 month old bubs and not younger. Given your bub's situation you might have to wait a little longer before she's up for coping with the routine.

Being so young my man's still working himself out. Some days he will only sleep during the day if he's on me others he'll go to his cot quite happily. I have found on his clingy days he will quite happily doze in the pram or car as long as we are moving. So I often go out on these days for a walk then stop in at a coffee shop and hold him whilst I have a treat or go to a shopping centre (mall) and wander around as that way he's happy and I feel like I've done something other than sat on the couch looking at all the jobs I could be doing! The other option is to put bub in a Baby Bjorn (or similar) so they can sleep on you but you can do things at the same time.

If you want to try not sleeping with her at night my baby health nurse suggests making up your bubs bed in your sheets you've been sleeping in as the new bed then smells like you and the other bed they were sleeping in. I'm a light sleeper so my man has always been in his own room but she gave us the tip in our prenatal classes and swears it works.

Hope this is useful - the book is very good but if it's expensive your end then you'll need to decide how close to six months she is developmentally as to whether it's worth the investment just yet. That said I've read it already so I've got the general idea ready to go should we need it as he gets older. By the way I had a little look online. Borders Books has the book for half the price of Amazon online - around $33 instead of $65!